The
Great Divide
The
advances in technology that put a man on the moon had also, by the
end of the next decade, put in our hands the means to monitor events
in Boston on a hand-held “transistor radio.” In the back of the
bus, leaving Talcott Junior High, midway between New York and Boston,
the aisle served to divide Yankee and Red Sox fans, and a
nine-volt-battery-powered, thumb-wheel tuned radio joined us in rapt
attention. Yaz hit a homer off Guidry, and the color in the faces of
Knight and Goldsmith on one side went white as the voices on the
other side roared.
At
home, my father was home early, and we watched Yaz back up, his
non-glove hand feeling for the Green Monster behind him, ready to
leap up to catch a paint scraper that never came down. Bucky Dent
lofted a fly ball to left that landed in the netting. The 23-foot
netting perched atop the 37-foot wall was built in 1936, and was
replaced in 2003 by the Monster Seats, a tenure that constituted most
of the Red Sox's World Series drought. Yaz slumped to the ground in
dismay. Panning back to include the view of the ball high above, the
camera had the effect of reducing him to a small figure, dwarfed by
the distance between his glove and the ball.
A
nationally televised baseball game on a Monday afternoon, it broke
the rhythm of life in New England. A simple graphic indicating only
the teams and the score was ample information to swing the emotions
of millions. I stepped outside to release a vocal outburst too
painful to share with my family. Words alone could not vent the
agony. I needed to move, physically move, to exercise the demons of
this cruel day.
Fortunately,
football practice came, and our coaches sent their pent-up players to
run a lap around the backstop at the far end of the field. At the end
of the run, we gathered again around another nine-volt radio, as Yaz
came to bat with two on, both in scoring position, with two out in
the bottom of the ninth, and with the Sox only down by one. Thirty
players in their pads and helmets huddled around the four inch box
housing a two inch speaker like penguins at the South Pole waiting
together for the return of the sun. Craig Nettles straddled the foul
line, waiting for the ball to fall.
The
anchor of the Nightly News waxed poetic, echoing the verses
memorializing the fall of the Mudville Nine, substituting final line
with, “The Mighty Yaz has popped out.” In the days when I was
ashamed to cry, I could not stop the tears, walking down the hall of
Talcott Junior High. Today, with so much more to mourn, I cannot
muster a single tear. Disappointment is a luxury I can ill afford, as
every day is a battle won by stepping over the carcasses of fallen
figures my memory strains to forget, in favor of all the pressing
matters of the here and now.
A
few years back, I drove my eldest to the co-ed town league soccer
championship. Her team seemed sure to lose to the undefeated all boys
(after all the girls quit) team. I asked her, “Why are you wearing
your Red Sox cap to a soccer game?” She replied, “for good luck.”
By the time she was thirteen, the netting that caught Bucky Dent's
ball was replaced with the Monster Seats, and the Red Sox had won the
World Series three times, three more times than my father and I had
seen them win before she was born. At the end of the day, at the end
of the game, she stepped up in the goal area and kicked the ball away
from one male attacker after another. After a scoreless overtime, the
game ended when the last of five chosen for the shoot-out sent his
shot wide, and my girl's team beat the unbeatable. The cap had worked
its magic.
That
November at Talcott I turned thirteen, as did my twins this November
past. As the father of thirteen-year-olds, it serves me well to
remember that the events in the life of a thirteen-year-old will
create memories that will forever last.
The
Elm
The
contents of the marquis of the Elm Theater were a staple question on
a Talcott teacher's weekly current events quiz. Talcott Junior High
and the Elm were across the street from one another at the southern
end of South Quaker Lane, and so the bus ride to school gave us a
plain view of the marquis advertising the movie playing, and the
movie coming soon.
Before
cable and video tapes made home viewing common, seeing a movie meant
going to The Elm. We queued between felt ropes, talking to our
neighbors and classmates, waiting to buy a ticket for ninety-nine
cents. In the days before social media and cell phones, people met on
Friday night at seven at the Elm, in person, sometimes walking a mile
or two, but still arriving on time. The lobby was filled with people
talking before the show, and during the intermission. The scent of
salty popcorn spread from the kernel cooker across the way, and was
carried further through the theater doors, bucket by bucket, until
the whole place smelled the same.
“A
Christmas Carol”, “Fiddler on the Roof”, “The Sting”, “The
Sound of Music”, and all the great movies of the day were seen at
the Elm, during the weeks they were showing, or you might not see
them at all. After the show the patrons filed out of The Elm, and
into the crosswalks, making their way across the intersection of
South Quaker Lane and New Britain Avenue to the Friendly's for a cup
of ice cream. The chatter in the booths filled the air with a
cacophony, punctuated by the sound of sizzling grease making fries
and cooking hamburgers. In the balcony patrons held debates
about what the hero should do next (“She's poison!” versus “Shut
up!”), and an empty beer bottle smuggled in through the out door
could be heard rolling down the inclined lain beneath the seats.
Everyone
knew where Elmwood was, at the southern end of South Quaker Lane,
where the movies played, and the school buses dropped us off at
school. Elmwood Elementary, just behind the Elm, had already closed a
couple years earlier, when baby boomers aged beyond their grade
school years. Born in 1965, mine was the last year of Talcott Junior
High, as enrollment declines reduced the need for four middle schools
to two. The Elm stayed open for a few more years, then it closed, and
the Friendly's did, too.
The
Zip code, 06110, still includes the word “Elmwood” in its
postmark. I pointed this out years later to a soldier stationed at
the Army Reserve Center on South Quaker Lane, who was completely
unfamiliar with the name place of “Elmwood.” Used to be, everyone
knew where Elmwood was, but today it is unknown even to those who
have been working there for years.
Recalling
Camelot
The
turn-table in our homeroom spun at two speeds, 45 and 33 RPM,
rotations per minute. Singles, or 45s, small disks with a big hole in
their center, required a disk be placed on the center of the
turn-table, while LPs, LP standing for “long play”, were wide
disks that had small holes in the middle and fit on the turn-table as
is. 45s spun at 45 RPM, of course, and LPs at the slower rate of 33
RPM, so a whole album of songs would fit on the two sides of the
disk.
A
lever was flipped to go between the two speeds, as everything except
the motor and speaker were mechanical. A person had to place the
needle onto the outer grooves of the disc to start the music, and
then when the disk had spun to the end it would trace in an endless
loop around the inner circle, spitting out static until someone came
along and manually lifted the arm housing the stylus off the record
and swung it back to its resting place to the side.
“Mr.
Price, can we play the song today?” It was a common request,
everyone enjoyed the time when it played, even if no one ever
listened to the song outside of our homeroom.
“Be
my guest,” the young teacher said, gesturing with his hands an
invitation to the pupil to play our homeroom anthem. It was no small
honor, and not a trivial responsibility. A misplaced needle could
scratch the vinyl, causing it to skip out of the groove the next time
it played. While the record spun, a scratch would cause the needle to
ever so briefly take air, actually skipping the way a child did in
hopscotch, landing just a brief ways away on the disk, after the very
shortest of low-earth-orbits, so that the part passed over would
never play, would never be heard again. A scratch in the wrong way
might cause the needle to bounce to a previous part of the track,
then bounce again when it returned to the blemish, and the cycle
might repeat itself again and again until a human hand gently lifted
the needle and delicately replaced it downstream of the scratch.
The
third floor of Talcott was home to a group of teachers that shared a
common affinity for the late President whose cabinet was called, and
whose favorite song was the title show-tune from Broadway's
“Camelot”. Our teachers dubbed the third floor, “Camelot”,
and many days began with us listening to the sound of Richard Harris
singing a passionate prayer for glory that could be, that would be,
and then lament its fading away.
It
was our great privilege and good fortune to be courtiers in the last
days of Camelot. The song was our herald, we were all knights in a
great order. There was no king, the table was round, and we all had a
seat. We were more than students going to school, we were scions of a
great regime that rose to greatness, and fell into oblivion.
Shop
“Jeez,
you damn Indian!” “Why don't you go ask a girl to show you how to
do that?”
EJ
was not one to mince words. One of the first things we learned in
shop was how fast a lathe could pull you in if it caught hold of your
shirt sleeve.
We
learned how to pour aluminum into a mold, and file and sand the rough
edges before finishing the job with emery paper. We fed wooden planks
into the planer. We measured twice and cut once, and still got it
wrong, and had to start over from scratch. We clamped wood pieces
together till the glue dried, then put on layers of stain and
lacquer. Holes got drilled and tin got snipped.
Whatever
we made went home and was never thrown away. We built paper weights
that held the paper our Mom's set beside our landlines, and took
notes on the paper it held in place for decades to come. It started
as molten aluminum, poured into a mold in the foundry, and came out
in the shape of a turtle. A couple holes were drilled through its
hind legs so it set well on the dowels pounded into holes drilled
into a routered piece of wood, stained brown by skilled hands.
Boys
left shop a bit more like men. Girls left a bit more confident they
belonged in a world built by men. Boys whose turtles had rougher
edges than those made by their female peers braced for the next
quarter, when co-ed Home Ec taught us all how to sew a pillow and
bake a cake.
The
Day the Music Stopped for an Uncomfortable Period of Time
The
band stopped marching halfway across the field that today is home to
houses. Back then, it was where Talcott's baseball and soccer teams
played, and where Mr. Bennett taught us how to march and play in tune
at the same time. When we were ready, we would make our way down the
side streets to the delight of the proud neighbors cheering us on.
But
we were not ready yet. The blare of Bennett's whistle brought us to a
halt. Seeing only the back of the head of the person in front of you,
most of the band was blind to the unfolding drama. As the leader of
the band entered our frozen ranks, my vantage from the position of
the first and only french horn gave me a clear view of the man's icy
scowl. He was staring into the eyes of a hapless saxophonist whose
mistake was, if not unforgivable, certainly has proven
unforgettable.
No
one made a sound, so quiet now, except for the tell-tale hiss coming
from the bell of the saxophone. Not a syllable was exchanged between
the two locked in a stare that brought terror to all in their
company, but the sound of suds jetting from a pin-pricked beer can,
overflowing onto the ground between them, said all there was to say.
When the leader of the band was safely out of earshot, out band
became a chorus, and our laughter became our song.
Brigadoon
Brigadoon
was a fitting choice for the last theatrical performance at Talcott.
Just as the townspeople stepped out of the mysterious mist after a
century-long absence , recollections of my junior high, long since
dissolved, reappear in my mind, its people unaltered by the great
passage of time.
Memory
has the magic power to span great amounts of time, putting you back
in moments long ago past,or alternately bringing the long ago past
into the here and now.
This
might sound like sheer nostalgia, a desire to hold on to the
familiar, fearful of change. But Talcott's Brigadoon was in one way a
celebration of a break with the past. The lead actor was black, and
the biggest deal with that was the way the student body did not think
it was a big deal, at all.
Project
Concern brought blacks and Hispanics from Hartford to West Hartford,
a short bus trip for a bus, but a gigantic leap for the students from
the inner city. In nearby Boston, scoundrels did more than wrap
themselves in the flag, they wielded it as a weapon, desperate to
stem the invulnerable tide that would put blacks and whites in the
same schools for the first time in forever. It was too soon for some,
but for most in the Hartford area the exchange was accepted with
little fanfare.
Born
black in the segregated North, rising to prominence as the lead actor
in the school play, what seemed of little consequence then, today I
look back with an appreciation of what it might have felt like for
him. He, too, sat at the round table of Camelot, proud and respected.
Maybe it went to his head. Maybe that's why he thought it was cool to
put a beer in the bell of his saxophone.
Type
casting did not take into account skin color in the world Candy
Ciarcia brought to life, teaching drama in Camelot. Hollywood is just
beginning to learn this lesson. When I see the Founding Fathers
portrayed by minorities on Broadway, I see the cast of Talcott's
Brigadoon stepping out of the mist, not to resurrect times long since
past, but rather to connect today to what they knew to be true, what
they made real, and what the rest of the country is taking a long
time to realize.
The
School is having a Ball!
Mr.
Leary, whose manners and appearances conveyed a Woodstock pedigree,
assumed a role of authority figure on the receiving end of a
counter-culture outburst, much to his chagrin. In the Cafeteria we
waited for the buses to come, filled with a giddy energy after the
end of classes, able at last to speak to our peers outside the bounds
of classroom discourse. Left to our own inclinations, we would have
been happy to not learn anything.
On
the day of the dance, the cafeteria would soon transform from a well
lit array of tables and chairs lined up in orderly rows to a darkened
dance floor below a spinning disco globe. The students waiting for
the buses to come were anxious to transfer into adherents of
adolescent intrigue. The social studies teacher sported a beard that
suggested a 1960s sit-in for something, and he seemed overdressed in
anything more than shorts and sandals. His ironic task was to advise
us against consuming any mind-altering substances.
He
called for us to cease our fermented banter long enough for him to
dutifully read us the pre-dance riot act. As soon as the din died
down, he was able to utter the first line of the expected code of
conduct for the evening to come, barring the evil of intoxication in
any of its forms. Before he could begin his second line, a table of
eighth grade girls broke out in a chorus. It carried across the
silent cafeteria so all could hear, " I would not feel so all
alone. Everybody must get stoned."
Despite
being a big Dylan fan, himself, he broke from his script to reply
with mock praise, "Very nice, ladies, very nice." The
projection of his disappointment with them did not seem to bother the
girls at all. The first bus was ready to leave, so we never heard the
rest of the riot act. Within a half hour we were home, getting ready
for the dance. Before arriving, the girls probably got high on
marijuana, and the teacher probably did the same.
Rose
of Elmwood
I
may have walked, I may have gotten a ride. It may have been in
winter, it may have been spring. All I remember for sure was the
darkness, and the girl. The light from a hundred mirrors spun around
the caf from the disco ball high above, flickering too fast to see
anything for long.
In
the dark I was shielded from the embarrassment a public rejection
would bring, terrified as I was of the fate suffered by a boy in my
class. He declared to the other boys his intention to ask out a girl
when he got her alone in the stain room. Well ventilated and enclosed
in glass to make a sound proof chamber, we looked on the way HAL
watched the crew members in “2001, A Space Odyssey” through the
pod's porthole. We could not read their lips, but we did not need to
to know she had shot him down.
I
could not imagine a worse fate, a more fatal injury than the specter
of such rejection, and it being known to all. In the dark, no one
could see me fail, so I needed less courage to try. Still, it took
all I had to ask, “would you like to dance?” I shuffled my feet
from side to side to the sound of “Hot Blooded.” Then we danced a
slow dance, holding her close, feeling her warmth, smelling her
scent. She smelled like a subtle flower. She smelled like a rose.
It
was a secret thing. Hidden from view, able to be in an intimate
embrace in a crowd of peers, without anyone knowing who was dancing
with whom. There was nothing to account for, as though nothing had
happened. There were no next steps, no words spoken between us after.
Asking a girl at a dance to dance seemed reasonable. Asking a girl
for a kiss, well, how would I ever be able to know if she was
remotely interested? And if she wasn't, what shame would come from
being so out of line? Rather than risk engendering her contempt, when
the music stopped and the lights came back on, I retreated home in
the dark. A rose of Elmwood, such a sweet first dance, it never
mattered to me what her name might be.
Stone's
Tulips
Down
the ramp from Camelot, Mr. Stone and Mrs. Osgood nurtured our social
outlook in part by showing us truly exotic films. The two were like
opposite ends of a magnet: Mrs. Osgood, a twentyish newlywed,
smothered us with liberal love, drawing us to here with equal parts
of kindness and cleavage. Mr. Stone was the older, more conventional
father figure, who kept us at a distance with stern looks and
halitosis.
The
metal reels housing the film was snapped on the end of the arm
extending off the back of the film projector. The lead frames of the
film were hand fed through the lens apparatus and fed further onto an
empty reel snapped onto an arm extending off the front of the
projector. Before the audio of the film kicked in, the only sound
heard in the dark, silent classrooms at the beginning of the movie
was the low hum of a motor, and of the film advancing past the lens.
The
man in the movie woke up, feeling changed. He ate and ate and grew
and grew. Once sufficiently larger, his appetite turned to people
within arms reach. His form soared above the skyline, chasing after
the people below, big enough to devour them in two bites. Finally,
the people of the city took to the safety of subterranean shelters to
wait out the menace. With no more people to eat, the now-monster left
the city in search of food, but found only desert. He soon starved,
and fell to the ground, where the people came, at long last leaving
their shelters. They climbed atop the corpse, and then cut his flesh
into pieces, packed them into boxes, and took it back to be stored in
the shelters back in the city. Panning back from the ex-carnated
giant outside the city limits, a line of super-sized skeletons comes
into view, relating a tale of a series of killers, all stripped to
the bone by the survivors of an epic cycle of feast or famine.
A
student who got close enough to know provided a report that was
repeated school-wide, “His breath stank.” The man did not take
undue umbrage at the slight, for Stone had known worse, much worse.
Living beside the high school tennis courts, his house was on the
route to and from school, an easy mark for the many alumni of his
classes in junior high. They would be considered prime suspects for
the crime committed against the residents of his front yard flower
garden. Or was it the work of his current students? Of course, word
travels fast when a teacher's flowers are cut down to nothing.
Whether
they were witnesses to the crime, or simply knew of it second or
third-hand, either way they made him jump. His back to the class,
writing on the chalkboard, a set of whispers, heard by all,
attributable to no one, set him off. “Tulips,” was all they said,
but it was enough to bring a fitful reaction.
Family Photo
You did not worry
too much about candid photos being taken in the age of film and
disposable flash cubes. It wasn't a simple matter of pulling out your
cell phone and pointing and clicking and posting to Facebook. Some
assembly was required in order to take a snapshot, especially at
night. Unexposed film was coiled up in lengths of 24 or 36 frames,
each 35mm in length, housed in a light-proof cylinder. It was hand
loaded into a camera, advanced one frame at a time. If you sprung for
ASA 400 or 800 you could set your F-stop a little higher at the same
speed and get a wider field of vision in focus without reducing the
shutter speed.
Flash-bulbs came in
cubes, with one flash-bulb in each of the four faces rotated to the
front, one at a time. A tiny chemical explosion lit up the room.
After the fourth bulb flashed, the cube was thrown away, after it
cooled down, and replaced with another.
After the last frame
on the roll was exposed, a button on the bottom of the camera was
pushed, and a crank flipped on the top to allow the film to be
rewound back into the cylinder. You took the roll to the store to get
it developed. Prints and negatives would come back in a week, but you
had to hold onto your receipt until then. To crop a photo, you sent
back a special order with the negative strip included, and a print
marked up to show the person in the lab what you wanted to see in the
new print.
Family photos were
typically an annual event, taken by the professional photographers
who staffed the studio at Sears and Roebuck in the Corbin's Corner
Shopping Plaza. Our parents would lead their five boys on a short
walk down Burnham Drive to the break in the wall at the fire gate at
the end of Elmfield, wearing our best horizontally striped t-shirts.
Over the years, as one was passed down from older brother to younger,
the shirt could be seen in the series of family photos moving from
left to right in the age ordered row of brothers.
In my thirteenth
year, the photographer was having a hard time getting me to smile. A
family photo without every smiling, or at least not frowning, was not
worthy of hanging on the wall at home. She asked me, “Who is your
girlfriend?”
Well, of course, the
honest answer was, “no one,” but that would be more embarrassing
than blurting out the name of a girl I wished was my girlfriend, so
out came her name.
The photographer got
the shot she needed, and my Mom got some intel on my secret world,
and I had spoken my heart and staked my claim to a Talcott
cheerleader with perfect teeth and a tight fitting sweater.
Inclined Planes
After completing the
inclined plane lab, in which simple planks were set at an angle until
something slid down the ram, we hanged the planks up high in the back
of the room in a place that would soon prove to be a safety
oversight. The problem began when a fellow student announced to the
class that he had observed me doing something I shouldn't be doing.
Maybe I was trying to squirrel away a sinker used to add weight to
whatever we were trying to make slide down the plank. In any event,
he ratted me out to everyone, including the teacher.
My response was
swift and to the point, conveying meaning at the speed of a right
hook to the jaw, followed by a pair of body blows setting up a left
jab, again to the face, knocking the rat back into the base of the
rack holding the planks. The true lesson in potential energy was
unleashed from above, each and everyone plank presenting the
potential to inflict blunt force trauma, falling down on and around
the ass-kicked rat.
Mrs. Govotski
shrieked, the fight stopped, and I was sent to the principal's
office. It wasn't quite a big enough deal for “Stiff Nuts”, as
Principal Michael Stephanian was known by staff and students alike,
so the vice-principal dealt with me. “So, he ratted on you, and
then you hit him?”
I nodded, not sure
if it was a question or a statement of fact. Either way, I had
nothing to say.
“I get it.” He
got it. It made sense to him. I was dismissed. Other teachers felt
the same way. A straight A student who fought, too. There was
something of a ying and yang duality to it, I guess. In the time when
Gordie Howe and his kids played for the New England Whalers, I had
scored the academic version of a Gordie Howe hat trick: A goal,
assist and a fight, or an A, a 5 and a U.
The status of
celebrity went straight to my head, until clarity came from the girl
identified to the Sears and Roebuck photographer as my girlfriend.
The phantasy came crashing down around me as I closed my locker and
turned to her with the swagger of a conquering hero. But she
pre-empted any approach with a simple sentence, a rhetorical question
for which I had no answer, “So, you think you're a big man now
because you got in a fight?” That was exactly what I thought, and
then I did not know what to think.
It was beyond my
comprehension then, and for years to come, that two people could have
a falling out and ever recover. Her words cut the cord between my
reality and my aspirations. It wasn't the last time I got in a fight,
but if I had the spiritual insight to take into account her
constuctive criticism, it would have been, and I would have been
better off for it.
Years later, in high
school, the boy I fought in science class came back to town with a
visiting JV football team, and sought me out. We were all smiles,
joined by the memory of this extraordinary event that elevated our
notoriety to untold levels. In tiem, the fight gained me the
admiration of the guy, but the respect of the girl was gone forever.
Decades later I
heard that her ex-husband had beaten her when they were married. In
the first draft of the previous sentence it began, “The man she
married …,” but, on second thought, I have decided to not use the
term “man” in the description of this person.
A-5-U
My Power School app
chimes in a half a dozen times or more throughout the work day when
my daughter is home sick, sending an alert each and every time one of
her classes convenes without her present. No one told my parents
about the fight in the science class. After all, I earned a
dispensation for fighting because I punched out a rat. What sense
would it make for the administrator to confuse the greater lesson
learned by turning around and ratting on me to my parents?
The only clue would
come later, in the form of an A-5-U.
At the end of the
marking period, I carried home the hardcopy of my report card, and
was confronted with the reality that there was no way to change a U
to an S, nor change a 5 to any other number. My three part science
grade was believed to be the only of its kind, and A-5-U. A was for
highest academic performance; 5 was the highest number possible,
signifying the worst possible citizenship; and U stood for
unsatisfactory effort.
“I don't give a
crap about the 'A',” my father began. “That 'A' isn't going to
get you anywhere if you are getting 5's and U's.” There was no
invitation or opportunity to account for the failing metrics. The
teacher's opinion was just as infallible, if not more so, than that
of Pope Paul. A father of five boys, he ruled by decree, and he
decreed that I should improve my effort and attitude totally, and
without delay. As President of the PTO, his message to the teacher
was no message at all. The opinion of a teacher was accepted without
question.
The
Ramp
The
ramp to Camelot was a highway to skateboarders, a practice Mr. Stone
tried in vain to curtail. It was a transitional DMZ between the
permissive culture of the third floor and the traditional educators
below.
For
me, it was also a waterway. When my mother was in St. Francis
Hospital giving birth to her fifth son, I escaped the containment of
the adult given the hopeless duty of minding the other four. I made
my way to the waters and the wild of the algae choked drainage
channels near my home. The runoff from Corbin's Corner Shopping
Center backed up behind the dam I built with rocks and mud and grass.
When enough water was behind it, the dam was breached, and a mighty
current was sent forth like a raging flood.
A
friend on the other side of the headwaters of Rockledge Brook teamed
up with me, rolling magazines into a pipe from the bathroom sink
faucet to the rim of a tall trash can. Much too heavy to be carried
by two, we were still able to maneuver it to the top of the ramp on a
dolly, just like a science lab on potential energy, or the difference
between static and rolling friction, or how high do you have to tip a
plank before something flat rolls down it. We left it leaning just
inside the double doors, then returned to class to establish our
alibi.
The
bell rang, students filled the hallways, and pushed open the door to
usher the flood. Judging by the high water line left behind, the
water spread out, spanning the entire width of the ramp on its path
to the sea. Once it reached the second floor, it collected at the low
point of the flooring, forming a large pool two inches deep in front
of the door to Mr. Stone's classroom.
Arriving
a few minutes after the water, coming from a classroom too far away
to be considered suspects, we watched the crowd gather in the halls,
delayed from entering, as Stone called for custodians, like
Charleston Heston commanding the sea to part. But he did not have a
prayer. We just walked through the pond, tracking water and filth as
we forded his entryway. Class began with our teacher barking into the
air about the sheer, intolerable assault on the dignity of his office
presented by this random act of vandalism.
Free
Throws
The
call came from coach to play man-to-man. All season long we had tried
to mimic Michigan State's 2-3 zone, but now he decided to ditch it
after all. Michigan State, led by Earvin Johnson, beat undefeated
Indiana State, led by Larry Bird, in the NCAA final that year. Coach
attributed the success of the Spartans to their 2-3 zone, and noted
the lack of production by Johnson when his teammate Gregory Kelser
came out of the game.
Within
moments of the switch, I stole a pass and raced half the court on a
breakaway. Ascending to the hoop, I was caught from behind, and we
both ended up crashing into the padding on the wall, four feet past
the end line. For the first time in my athletic career I said
something to an opponent other than, "Good game" in the
post-game handshake line. On my way to the foul line, in a clutch of
players, I turned to him and said, "That was a good tackle. You
should play football."
The
mother of a teammate in attendance told me afterwards that my
breakaway play and the aftermath, "made the game interesting."
It was a revelation that she was less than engrossed by the entire
sporting event. For me, everything in life paled in comparison to the
excitement of an athletic contest.
In
my junior year of high school, my youth football coach, and father to
a daughter, founded West Hartford's girls softball league. Before
then, like back in the years of Talcott, girls in the junior high
years had fewer options. There a lot more cheerleaders. A boy's job
was to compete in uniform, and a girl's job was to cheer on the boys.
It never dawned on me that the girls could find anything of greater
interest than my performance in these hallowed games.
An
eighth grade cheerleader too an interest in the score sheet after the
game, but it never occurred to me that her interest in me might
extend beyond my stats. She complemented me on my perfect two-for-two
shooting at the free throw line. I might have taken the opportunity
to complement her on how perfect she was to say so, or how perfect
she looked in her cheer-leading outfit, or how perfect her Dorothy
Hamill haircut looked. I was standing on the charity stripe of love,
and did not even take a shot.
One
of the eight seventh graders that formed the JV basketball team, we
played a three game season against the other three junior highs in
town. Coming off the bench, I averaged one point per game, all free
throws.
True
Faith
St.
Brigid Parish encompassed almost all of West Hartford south of I-84,
so we knew many of our classmates at Talcott for years before. Even
if we attended different Elementaries, many if not most of us were in
the same pews on Sunday, and walking across Elmwood on Wednesday
afternoons to the same CCD classes at St. Brigid's school. Sectarian
divisions of the twentieth century were still on their last legs in
Hartford at the end of the youth of the Baby Boomers. St. Francis
Hospital was where Catholic doctors cared for Catholic patients, so
my brothers and I and many if not most of my classmates were born
there. Hartford Hospital cared for Protestants, while Mt. Sinai was
predominately by and for Jews.
Real
estate agents had maps of the town with the Star of David drawn over
the neighborhood in the north, referred to as the “Reservation”,
ostensibly for the preponderance of streets named for First Nation
tribes such as Mohegan, Pontiac, Miami, Seneca, Iroquois, Mohawk and
Huron. At the center of the Reservation was King Phillip Junior
High, named for the First Nation Prince conquered by the British en
route to pacifying the Tobacco Valley. A significant Jewish migration
after World War II brought many from Hartford to northeastern West
Hartford.
On
the southern half of the Real Estate agents map of West Hartford a
cross was drawn. St. Thomas, St Brigid and St. Helena teamed with
parishioners, whereas today the diocese had combined the three into
one, and still have no luck filling the pews on Sunday.
But
when the ballots were counted, my school had elected Goldsmith to be
our student body President. Even without years of doctrine, without
consuming a single communion, he was one of us. And if he was one of
us, and a leader to boot, then we were something more than a group of
Catholics. The clergy depended on us believing their teachings were
the only way to raise your child, and the student body had already
figured out the opposite was true. It never dawned on them to change
their tune, and maybe they never will. The sun sets on cultures who
think they are their own source of light.
In
the Elm, our mother echoed the soulful lyrics, breaking the theater's
never enforced code of silence. With one word she counseled her age
ordered sons seated to her left. It was an adjustment for her when my
older brother Joe told her of his marriage to an emigre from Ukraine
in a civil service, and the plans for the religious ceremony in the
Jewish tradition. She confided in me, but never spoke of it to my
brother, “I always looked forward to you boys getting married in a
church.”
“Then
you shouldn't have taken us to the Elm to see 'Fiddler on the Roof'
and lectured us about the importance of 'Tradition'.”
The
attempt to reassign ceramics maestro Harry Arnini to Hall High in the
north was met with fury by parents who saw him as an indispensable
part of Elmwood's identity. They won that fight, and we still put the
slip-caste turkeys I made in high school in the middle of the table
every Thanksgiving.
My
math teacher, Mr. Bran, was similarly summoned to the north. H filed
a brief but memorable protest agains what he saw as a sectarian
selection. As a Jew selected to teach the predominantly Jewish
children of the Reservation who attended King Phillip, he had reason
to suspect that religion had something to do with it.When Goldsmith
asked him where he was going, he fashioned an arm band out of a
scoresheet and marked it with a David's Star, fit it around his arm
and replied, “KP, of course.”
Goldsmith
laughed, and Bran frowned, and I did not know what to think. Mr. Bran
and the late Dr. Bookman had tutored a math team dynasty at Talcott
that had guided my older brothers to pursue a course that led them to
attain PhD's at Harvard and MIT. Bran did not want to go north. Even
without years of doctrine, without consuming a single communion, he
was one of us.
Maybe
if Bran had taught me for a couple more years, I could have been a
contender. Maybe if the parents made as big a stink about Bran as
they did for Arnini, the world could have been my oyster. But, on the
other hand, the white glazed turkeys are still a big hit on
Thanksgiving.
The
Afterlife
The
stairs to the CEO's office at the new headquarters at 999 South
Quaker Lane rose from a free throw line in the old gym. Proud
proprietors of PACMAN and Cabbage Patch dolls, COLECO, an
abbreviation of Connecticut Leather Company, bought Talcott from the
town a year or so after it closed its doors to students.
For
a brief period, though, former students made their way back to the
gym on certain weekends. The shop, auditorium, classrooms, and
cafeteria were relegated to darkened, empty spaces, so that as a
whole, Talcott Junior High had become the world's largest
roller-skating rink. Waiting for a sale to go through to a new owner
with no interest in a gym, its final nights of use by the students of
West Hartford were as memorable as any. That was where a tall blonde,
made taller by wearing roller skates, caught my eye, and smiled, and
motioned with her index finger for me to come to her.
Jude
was a rare name then, and rarer still for a girl. But she was such
the complete feminine package that I was convinced for a long time
that the Beatles were talking about a woman when they sang “Hey,
Jude.” Her spirit was as light as her hair. Her smile as wide as
the curves that undulated from head to tow like a sultry ocean of
flesh. My attraction to her overcame my shyness, to the point that
somehow my feelings came to her attention. I am not sure how many
intermediaries were involved, but one way or another she became aware
that I liked her, and I became aware she had a boyfriend in high
school, and then she became aware that I was heartbroken to hear that
it was the case that she was not available to go out with me.
Nevertheless,
there we were, out on a Friday night, rolling around the old gym, and
she was inviting me to engage her in direct conversation. A first
year hockey player with almost no skill at skating on ice, I managed
on wheels a modest c-cut, and rolled suavely backwards in her
direction. There she told me how pleasant she found my overtures. It
was the sweetest of rebuffs.
Years
later, sitting in Middletown's Harbor Park, a member of Great White
was sharing shots with me that he had bought, but lacked the stomach
lining to drink. Famous for his music to millions, I could not recall
a single tune. But, I knew of the band. It played to a packed room in
Rhode Island on a Thursday night, before indoor fireworks set the
hall ablaze. Jude perished along with many others in the smoke. The
white liquor from the Great White band member offered no
consolation.
For
Elmwood, rollerskating in the gym was a consolation prize. For me,
Jude's smile just for me was a consolation to be prized. If there is
a heaven to come, let its gates be the double doors to Talcott's gym,
with Jude waiting on the other side, gliding above the wooden floor
on a pair of angel's roller skates, with a smile just for me.
©
2018 John Kilian
